Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday Morning Munchies #3

Here's a quirky little exercise to stretch the mind and tempt the senses...Hhmmm, which senses would that be? Suzanne Young's book, The Naughty List, contains segments of reports--cheater reports. It's about a group of high school girls who expose the local high school scoundrels who are less than faithful in their relationships. I've post my example below. Have fun with it.

Case No. 077

Client: Ivy Craig

Subject: Justice Sly

Findings: During first period on February 8th, said subject was observed smearing frosting on the nose of a sassy brunette as he offered to help her during cooking class. Immediately, the sultry girl was tagged as Vixen Vice, daughter of the varsity hockey coach at Viking High. As the two cleaned up at the sink, Mr. Sly was seen with his hands anchored to Ms. Vice’s hips, while she picked flakes of dried frosting from his hair.

Later that night, Mr. Sly was videotaped via cell phone in his black Charger pulling up next to a white Hyundai Elantra parked by the locker rooms. As the enclosed memory stick will show, Ms. Vice exited her car and legged into the black Charger which disappeared down the dirt road behind the high school next to the tennis courts.

The two then spent the next two hours in what must have been one heck of a private cooking lesson. Sight pictures 14-16 and 19-21 which show fogging windows and both subjects fumbling into the front seats from the back seat. Pay special attention to photos 25-29 as they document Ms. Vice grabbing one of her undergarments out of Mr. Sly’s hand and rushing barefooted back to her car, obviously disgruntled. Due to the nature of said call, we chose not to videotape the findings in their entirety.

SOS is terribly sorry for your current plight and truly recommends the severing of said relationship.

Look at it this way: apparently, he’s not a good cook.


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