Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First Crusader Challenge: Shadows

This is the week to participate in Rachel Writes 1st Campaign Challenge for her 3rd Crusade. Our challenge is to write a piece of flash fiction in 200 words or less, staring with a designated phrase. She also supplied us with an ending phrase if we'd like to use. And to challenge us even further, she's given us the option of coming in at EXACTLY 200 words, which I have. I hope you enjoy my little piece of flash fiction.

A Shadow's Touch
The door swings open, the scent of woodsy musk filling the air. I curl up on my bed and relax in the warmth of his white dress shirt. A groan vibrates up my throat, as my body sinks deeper into the curves of my mattress. I twist the ribbing of the shirt between my fingers. The cotton patters softly against my bare stomach. My heart pounds, the familiar presence inching nearer. Butterfly kisses caress my toes then slink up my calves, my thighs. My chest rides the wave of each sweet touch. I can almost feel the waning of his loving exhales steaming my neck and hear his whisper ‘You’re mine.’ I always loved that. Every ounce of me tingles. I’m hungry, never wanting this to end. Life is so unfair. Tears teeter on my lower eyelids. I close my eyes. Droplets mist my skin, a memory caressing my thoughts. Not that memory. No, no, no…I should rollover, ram my face into my mattress, give into reality and pretend he’s not here.

But he is. In my heart, in his butterfly touches…forever.  

The door swings shut, leaving me hugged in his shirt—the one he wore the night he died.

Thanks for reading!

It's always fun to stretch our writing skills!! See other writers who decided to do the same ~ HERE.

34 comments:

  1. Wow! This is great, especially with the surprising end. It's been fun reading the different posts with this prompt.

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  2. Wow! Drew me in till the end. Great job!

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  3. Yes, bumps erupted on my skin. Great job!

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  4. I could picture everything. Awesome! Great job!

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  5. Wow, you had me feeling this, right until the sad ending. Must think happy thoughts now.

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  6. Very powerful emotionally! I enjoyed the read! But am sad that He's gone.

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  7. aww... that's really sad. :o\ but well-done! <3

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  8. Whoa. Great ending. Didn't see that coming. ;)

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  9. Wow! The ending was just incredible.

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  10. OMG, my heart broke! This was so beautiful, the imagery had me right there feeling it all, then dropped me off a cliff at the end. I. Loved. This.

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  11. Very visceral; I kept wondering if he was there or not. Great hook!

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  12. That's really sad. But I liked the imagery and everything.

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  13. So sad. That you made me feel emotion is a GOOD thing. :)

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  14. awe- Loved this! So vivid and emotional. Great job!

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  15. Nice twist ending :) <3 from a newbie follower

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  16. Darn, I knew he was going to be dead and yet I still hoped otherwise. Well done. Mine is #72

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  17. That was beautiful and so sad! I loved it!! I'm a new follower by the way :)

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  18. wonderful writing! congrats on hitting all the challenge marks.

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  19. Nice! I could really feel the emotion in the piece. Beautiful.

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  20. Awwwww... so sad! Nicely written, though :)

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  21. Sad and touching. You wrote such great passion in the beginning, too! ~ Nadja

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  22. Your story was cute, and sad, it made me think about my love. How it would be if he was just gone. Good job!

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  23. Enjoyed this. It's good to feel emotions--even the sad ones. My hubby thinks I'm crazy after the entries I've told him he had to read, but it's all about making people feel, right? Of course, I was worried there at the beginning about the, um, rating (PG-13, R). =) Great entry.

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  24. Thanks for sharing your flash. I love the sense of anguish as she tries not to experience the memory, because she knows how painful it'll be when the memory passes.

    I'm looking forward to going down the campaign trail with you - I'm in your MG/YA campaigner group!

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  25. I have judged your peice and it has qualified to move on to stage two. CONGRADS!
    It is a beautiful peice. Touching, emotional, and filled with sadness. Really loved this one, Goodluck on round 2.

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  26. Wow, glitterword! I'm speechless and quite humbled. Thank you!

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  27. Hello Sally. My name is Amy Jarecki and I'm visiting your blog to inform you that your story has been short listed as one of the top two (out of 384 total entries), and you will advance to the semi finals!

    Let me be the first to congratulate you!!

    Amy

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  28. Wow,so beautiful and sad! Loved "tears teeter" too :)

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