tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post8702226246689081362..comments2024-01-05T05:32:54.346-05:00Comments on S.A. Larsen, Award-winning author of middle grade & young adult fiction: Ready: Feedback Please!S.A. Larsenッhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06241633272588383935noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post-33464524590883859752010-02-21T07:31:22.909-05:002010-02-21T07:31:22.909-05:00Thanks for taking a look, M & Ballerinablogger...Thanks for taking a look, M & Ballerinablogger. <br /><br />M, your comments/opinions are always insightful. Merci... <br /><br />BB, so are you saying the entrance that begins 'Rhythmic...' drew you in more, but this one 'On a ...' is clearer? Does this one draw you in, too? I was torn how personal I should have it at first. Maybe I should work how disturbing it is for him to stumble upon this pulse next or work it into the dialog. :)S.A. Larsenッhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06241633272588383935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post-71852648273560143682010-02-20T20:32:30.909-05:002010-02-20T20:32:30.909-05:00Having now read the other post, I think the openin...Having now read the other post, I think the opening imagery in the last entry was more enticing. Yet the introduction of the characters/loss of the explanatory sentence in this one is more subtle and clear.Ballerinabloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01234801249708325038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post-40487219484213140232010-02-20T20:31:10.699-05:002010-02-20T20:31:10.699-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ballerinabloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01234801249708325038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post-89899820362751959042010-02-20T20:24:10.388-05:002010-02-20T20:24:10.388-05:00I highly enjoyed this! The imagery in the first pa...I highly enjoyed this! The imagery in the first paragraph really took hold of me and I found the sentences to be very well crafted.Ballerinabloggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01234801249708325038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4513702670120363707.post-22023125718501835572010-02-20T11:45:09.046-05:002010-02-20T11:45:09.046-05:00very nice!very nice!mshatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06308916014310536449noreply@blogger.com