If you have care and respect for our US Veterans, then
please read this!
My dad served our country through the United States Navy
from 1963 – 1967, beginning in the Naval Reserves while still in school from
November 1962 to June 1963. He was deployed to Vietnam twice and was stationed
out of Tan Son Nhat Air Base, Saigon, Vietnam. He served his country humbly because
'that's just what we do.' Though his
official service ended with his final honorable discharge in November of 1968,
exiting the Navy with the ranking of AX2, Anti-Submarine Warfare Tech, he has
silently continued in dedication to make this country a better place.
He has been an amazing husband and father, raising me and my
brother while married to our mom for 46 years now. From his steadfast faith in
God to caring for his ailing parents, his goodness has touched many. Like
millions who've come before him and many who will come after, service like his is
the backbone of our country. It consistently honors our founding fathers’
pledge to build a land of opportunity, bravery, equality, and justice, through
selfless deed after deed. A US citizen, who’s lived his life from day to day in
the shadows of politics and economics that so often shroud the true beauty of
this great land. These people are our foundation. They are many.
As a child, I recall my father’s playfulness with my brother
and me, yet his stern guidance to teach us right from wrong. This skill
continued and was felt by many of our friends who knew him as their baseball or
ice hockey coach. I'm sure some of you reading this recognize these same silent
qualities in people you've known all your life - parent, friend, teacher, or
neighbor. Someone who doesn't seek the limelight, but whose only goal is to
live a good life and leave this country with a bit of light to flourish after
they’re gone.
Just over 26 years ago, our family was dealt a tough blow.
My mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis to add to her existing battle
with depression. As you can imagine, her MS diagnosis only compounded her highs
and lows. She also has heart disease and other ailments that require a boatload
of medications and hands-on care. Her bodily functions have slowly and painstakingly
deteriorated over the years. It has been hard to watch her body constantly fail
her to the point she’s been unable to hold her grandchildren. Her fight is one
of heroism, but also degrading blows – blows which my father has always taken
with her. He is her shield. But even the toughest shield ages and can’t keep up
the same productivity. Many reading this can surely relate.
Always her faithful caregiver, my father has put her before
himself in all and everything, just as he did all those years ago with our
country. The Vietnam War could have taken his life. Thankfully, it did not. Instead,
it spared him to return home and be a productive citizen. He has spent his life
doing so until recently receiving his own diagnosis - cancer. The shield is
developing cracks all his.
My brother and I now face the heartbreaking reality of setting
up in-home care for our mom, while my father has surgery for the cancer and for
his recovery. We both have four children and will do everything to care for
her, but we can’t do it alone. I’m in awe that he’s been doing this alone all
these years.
He is a proud man, so asking for help has been hard for him.
But it got us thinking about his military service and if Veteran Affairs could
be of any assistance. His initial reaction to the idea was that he’d given to
his country without the expectation of anything in return and that there are
thousands of vets coming home now in need of more care than he needs. (Yeah, my
heart pounded a little harder after hearing him say that, too.) Finally, he agreed
to let me take him to the VA to see if they could lessen his load of taking
care of himself so he could still be available to care for our mom. But to our
horror, we discovered the military records he was given upon his honorable
discharge were incomplete. They lack the TDY orders proving his was ‘Boots on
the Ground’ in Vietnam. Without that proof, the VA can’t offer him any help.
The Navy lost my father’s military service records.
Seriously?
We petitioned the Military Achieves in Missouri in November,
but have received no response. The only positive help we've been given is from Senator
Susan Collins’ office in Maine, where my parents reside. However, a phone call from
her office this morning shared with us some bad news. They have found nothing to
prove his service as of yet. Again – Seriously? My father will not only be
worried about his limited ability to care for my mother during his surgery and
recovery, but he’ll also be worried about the expense and care he will need. His
surgery is in less than two weeks.
This is a man who our country should be grateful to have as
its citizen. And there are millions like him.
After receiving the news from the senator’s office, my
father text me this: Makes me feel like
I imaged serving, or it was a dream. I’m very disappointed. I can guarantee
you his memories aren't his imagination, the atrocities he witnessed or the friends
he lost. It’s all real. He could have died in Vietnam, not once but twice. If
he had, would he now be a ghost? A never-had-been because the Navy can’t find
his records, proof that he served?
This is heartbreaking. Obviously he is crushed, but not for
the VA’s refusal to offer him the benefits he earned by serving in the armed
services. He is devastated because it seems like he didn’t exit, as though his
sacrifice didn't matter to anyone. I, for one, NEVER want a service person to
feel this sort of abandonment. What about you?
