Friday, August 27, 2010

School Supply HELL

Ten Reasons Why I Despise School Supply Shopping
1. Gadgets. New this; unique that. Um...yeah, my butt. Nothing is really new and unique anymore. And whatever gadget it is, it's outdated before I get to the parking lot anyway. It's a setup I tell ya'.

2. Crayons. I HATE...did you catch that...hate the smell of crayons!!

3. Backpacks. Now really, do they need to make them with so many different compartments? WTF?? For gosh sakes, it's a portable lost-and-found. And then, they print up instructions on the proper usage of the bag. Have they met a red-blooded American boy lately?? Like he's going to read it. And the girls? It's all about the way it 'hangs against my hip, Mom'. Whatev.

4. Lines. Not the ones the kids are drawing on each other with their new markers as I drive from store to store. The lines at the check-out counters. What is up with those? EVERYONE is aware school is starting soon. OPEN ANOTHER REGISTER, WOULD U?!

5. Screamers. Other peoples screaming-memme kids, causing a racket, making a scene. Yup. As ludicrous as this sounds, people should not bring their children with them to school shop! Buy them what they need...want has nothing to do with it. If want did, they wouldn't be going to school!! 

6. Lunch boxes and school snacks. I think these should be treated like the ugly uniforms Catholic School kids (I was a Catholic school brat.) have to wear. Sure, the lunch boxes would be practical but all the gross tasting, nutritional snacks would actually fit inside and then maybe I wouldn't have a headache every effing morning listening to the kids battle over who took the last bag of chips!! 

7. Reasoners. Note: parent of the kid who's insisting on the funky jeans with the hole in the @$$, peppered in some gosh-awful paint splatters and obscene wordage; the parent of the kid who wants to set a new trend at school and be cool. You gave the kid a valid reason why those jeans don't work for your family. Period. Either the kid wears the pair you are willing to spend your hard earned  money on--that you should be using to take yourself out for a spa week--or GO NAKED! Let's see how many of your middle school friends have the @&*s to follow YOUR new trend.

8. Deservers. Nope. Sorry MGers & YAers, but I'm so sounding like my dad: you don't deserve crap. When I went to school--Catholic School, remember--I was given crappy, yellow lined paper that browned the second I made my first eraser mark and a number 2 pencil. You deserve the basics. Earn the frills.

9. Sports. Damn it. This subject is never ending for me. With four kids, we have to buy new soccer cleats, new football cleats, a new soccer ball, football, tape for fingers (ankles & wrists) cross-country running shoes, shorts, those disgusting tight pants the guys wear under their ridiculously short running shorts. 

Yeah, what's up with that. These are high school boys and it's year 2010. Why the '70s shorts???

Socks...socks...socks, jocks--which I despise. They stink and the boys refuse to wash them. Gross! Helmets, T-shirts, mouth guards--want to talk about yuck! Water bottles, hair pieces for my daughter not to mention all her dance shoes: tap, ballet, jazz, hiphop.... My kids play ice hockey year round so I won't bore you with the rundown on all that gear. (I'll save that and the need for $200 hockey sticks for another post.)  

10. Stress and Money. If I only had as much money as stress during School Supply shopping...a girl can dream, can't she?? 
There you have it--my wrap up of School Supply HELL. Add to my list. What's your School Supply Vice???

ON a positive note, I found a solution to my current writing struggles. I created book covers for each story I've written or am working on. I'm hoping to inspire and motivate myself. aa Look at my sidebaraaYeah, over thereaa

Whatcha' think?


  1. I think you should submit that to a parents mag!! It is frakking hilarious! I laughed by butt off reading it. I'm sooo glad I raised my son in a simpler time and that all he wanted to do was play basket ball.

  2. First, I LOVE the covers! Totally awesome -- beautiful -- perfect!

    Second, I agree with Marcy. You need to submit that article somewhere! It is hilarious!

    I'd say more on the subject of school supplies, but as I glance at the clock, I realize I have to get my butt to work -- where I will be on the receiving end of all those school supplies ... and no more grateful for them than you were pleased to buy them. From teacher to parent, THANK YOU for not buying the gadgets!! Guess what: They play with them in class!! Who could have guessed?

  3. Those covers are awesome!! Such a cool way to motivate yourself. I did that for mine too :o)

    Don’t forget about my CONTEST!

  4. I was reading your blog post, and my eyes kept drifting to the book covers. By the end of the post, I had already decided to try it out for my current wip (and maybe the next one I'm gearing up to start next month). (he he now you know what I'm doing later today instead of editing!)

    I wish instead of all the useless pockets in the backpacks, they would focus on making ones that would LAST THOUGH THE FRICKIN' YEAR!!! Serously!!!!

    I was shopping this week with the kids. They were getting restless in the checkout lineup. The lady behind me commented (which I missed at first 'cause I was daydreaming about my wip) that you can tell it's time to go back to school. My response: They're normally like this. ;)

  5. Dude! I LOVE school really, I do. I know, I know...I am bizarre. But hey, I'm an educator, so maybe that has something to do with it???

  6. Sheri,
    I feel your pain. I went shopping for school supplies last weekend, and by the end of it, I was a sweating, quivering puddle. I think I'll take your advice - don't bring the kids.

    My biggest pet peeve with school supplies is having to label everything. Why would I write my child's name on 20 pencils, 48 pencil crayons, and 24 markers? It's ridiculous!

  7. LOL. Great Post. Love the covers. My pet peeve is when teachers ask for a 100page notebook when the stores only sell 70--everywhere! Come on now, kids are gonna tear 'em up anyway.

  8. fabulous book covers, by the way! and I avoided your woes by shopping back in June & July. I knew I wanted no part of lines, screaming, wanting, etc. Just me and a school supply list.

  9. LOL! My daughter is young so her supply list is still small and cheap. And her dance shoes from last year still fit. Yes...I know how crazy lucky I am!! Don't worry...I'm sure something major will a much needed appliance and I'll be out a few hundred bucks. ;)

  10. HA! Im not *there* yet, but oh sounds like fun!<---sarcasm

  11. Love, love, love the book covers!

    Wow. I don't like school shopping at all (and I'm a teacher!), but I think you beat me out for frustration level. Ha ha ha.

    My big ugh! moment came when my son's 3rd grade teacher asked specifically for 100 page spiral notebooks WITHOUT the perforated edges. Do they even make those anymore? I could not find them ANYWHERE - and believe me, I looked.

  12. I'm impressed with how many books you are working on. You're so productive.
    I don't mind the school supply shopping as all the volunteer opportunities I have to volunteer for. I already have 4 through September. Sigh.

  13. This post makes me want to cry, because guess what I get to do this weekend?

    Yes. Buy school supplies. Hello Walmart hell aisle.


    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

  14. It IS all ridiculously expensive--and just wait 'till college!! They have new "editions" of the textbooks every year (about $100-$200 avg. for each new one), and then there's dorm costs and tuition...don't even get me started. ASU raised tuition $1300 this year alone.

    And you're totally right about how expensive sports are, too--if your kids play ice hockey, then you've got ice fees and lesson fees in addition to gear...

  15. This is Halirous! Thanks Sheri! I had my school shopping list three weeks ago. Do you know what my parents made me do if i wanted to play sports and had to buy certain equipment that i thought was A MUST HAVE? They said, "Get a job, we'll pay for half. cause every year I needed new caps and swimsuits for swimming, then i played baseball and my feet were constantly growing until i reached 16 they magically stopped. Sports bras, ballet shoes, and jazz shoes, yup had those too. So i worked in the summer or did odd chores for neighbors and things and parents paid for the half i couldn't come up with on things.

    This thaught me a lesson too, I respected my things, b/c it wasn't just my parents money invested into it but my own.


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