Teenage Depression ~ Sometimes You Just Can't Smile & Where's Lenny Lee?

***I have two posts for today, so if you're here to celebrate a fantastic teen's birthday feel free to skip to the latter part of this post. If you're Lenny, QUICK! Scroll to the bottom.

List of Participants

I'm please to be part of this ingenious blogfest hosted by Stephen Tremp, Michael Di Gesu, Diane Wolfe, and Alex Cavanaugh. 

It's meant to bring awareness of disease prevention and early detection regarding medical conditions that may be averted or treated if caught in the early stages. Our desire is to motivate people to go in for early screening, and if a condition is caught early and treated, then our world just became a little better place to live. 

Here's my contribution.

Most everyone knows or has heard the name Robin Williams. He's been in countless films and comedy shows, igniting smiles and lightening hearts in millions over his professional career. He started making me laugh when I was in elementary school, while watching him during his stint as Mork for Ork on the television show Mork & Mindy. His sudden passing stunned many. But the hand he had in his own death was the real shocker. Bewilderment and sadness that a man with the capacity to give such joy to others yet somehow could not feel it himself spread rapidly. It also placed a spotlight on the mental disorder of Depression, how well some people can wear a fake outer skin, and how it affects loved ones of the sufferer.  
All of us can have a sense of being depressed ~ sadness, gloom, dejection. We all have crappy days. Our bodies are chemically engineered with sparks of electricity firing at all angles throughout every day. We are emotional beings, which plays a part in our genetic make up. Events and circumstances can flair our emotions and affect our chemistry. It happens to all of us. But it eventually wears off, after we've had time to reflect or maybe spend time with a friend. Clinical Depression is an entirely different animal. Sufferers can not just make themselves happy or change their outlook. It can be an emotional up and down daily battle. Tell her to just smile, as I've been told, will not work for them.    By collective definition, Clinical Depression: a depression so severe as to be considered abnormal, either because of no obvious environmental causes, or because there action to unfortunate life circumstances is more intense or prolonged than would generally be expected. 

NOTE: I by no means am a physician or councilor, or an expert on depression. However, I've had personal experience dealing with the disorder, suffering from Post-Partem after my third baby (take that Tom Cruise) and taking care of a clinically diagnosed family member for years.

Saying that, my focus here is on our youth, particularly teenagers. I write for children and love seeing the world through their eyes. But their world is not always rose petals and lollipops. Many kids have real life issue to handle. My current young adult project ~ a teenage girl who cares for a severely depressed parent, what she has to sacrifice, what that does to her, and how she deals with it all ~ has lent me lots of research into depression and teenage depression. 
The teenage years are by far the most volatile emotionally. Everything is a tragedy, a calamity. In their minds, no one understand what they're going through. We all remember feeling like that at some teenage point.
These years are the inner battle of adolescent Meism slowly losing ground to the revelation that the world does not revolve around them. Of course, there are loads of variables attached here. Everyone is an individual, different situations, circumstances, environments, etc... Each handles those uniquely. 
Feeling down or 'bad' is real to any of us, but especially during the middle grade and high school years of self discovery. Where do I belong? Who am I? Who do I want to become? In today's world, there's a lot of stress on these kids to answer those questions.  
Yes, there is a difference between feeling down and feeling as though one has been sucked into a black hole. But do not take any sense of depression lightly. You and I do not know the true workings of another's inner mind and heart. Pay attention. A life could be at stake.
Here are a few of the more common warning signs that might give you pause to a teenager suffering from a form of depression:

• Sleeping excessively
• Sudden disinterest in food or compulsive overeating leading to weight loss or gain
• Memory loss
• Unusual irritability
• Irrational and/or rebellious behavior - skipping classes, driving recklessly, forgetting regular obligations like babysitting or work 
• A sense of hopelessness
• Outwardly feeling sorry for self
• School work suffering; drop of letter grades
• Apathetic attitude toward what was normally important to them: grades, athletics, music, etc...
• Begin dabbling in alcohol and/or drugs
• Isolate self
• Disinterest in friends
• Talk of death/dying
• Headaches, fatigue, other aches and pains.
• Overdoing actions or obnoxious in public
• A heredity edge - (a symptom you might not be aware of: family history of depression)

Here are sites, organizations, articles, and books with more information on teenage depression, how to help, and how to manage it. 

Help Guide

A Teenager's Guide to Depression

The Real Cost

Teen Treatment Center

Mayo Clinic

PsychCentral

A Few Signs Your Teenager Might Be Depressed

National Library of Medicine

Teens Health

Mountain Valley 

Beyond the Blues by Lisa M. Schab

When Nothing Matters Anymore by Bev Cobain

Signs of Depression in Teens by Michelle Ross

Anxiety Workbook for Teens by Lisa M. Schab

Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your life for Teens by Sheri Van Dijk

Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety by Christopher Willard

Depression: The Ultimate Teen Guide (It Happened To Me) by Tina P. Schwartz

Thank you for reading, and please take this post to heart. Depression can happen to anyone, even those least likely to fall victim. Don't be afraid to ask questions, be attentive. You're not nosy. You care. <3

original image credit

I first met Lenny Lee through the blogosphere, while reading a post written by the fabulous Candace G. Her admiration for this young eleven-year-old kid struck a cord inside my heart. I then followed Lenny's trail to my amazing writer pal Sharon Mayhew and discovered Lenny's courageous journey and battle with cancer.  Most of you will remember Lenny for his blog Lenny's World and from his imfamous sunshine logo. 

Dear Lenny,
You are one of my heroes. Your resilience amazes me. The way you see the world through hope-filled eyes and recognize the glass as half-full comforts me. There really is a better tomorrow. Thank you for being a light in my life and in the lives of your blogging buddies. 

We HEART U! Happy 15th Birthday!!!

For Cassidy

Life is fragile. 
A newborn baby's innocence. The trickling of clean water in a stream. Woodland animals caring for their young. We all know this, and yet we live our days filled to the brim with no time to step back and contemplate that truth. That beauty. We all do it. It's life. It's the world we live in. Or is it? 
For one of my close neighboring towns that question has come full circle. It has reached its tentacles, crossing my community's borders as well. This article is one I wish I didn't need to write.
On Saturday evening, people gathered at a farm about an hour from my home to enjoy pumpkins, corn mazes, and haunted hayrides. The farm is well known for ringing in the Halloween season with flair, so it attracts many and a lot of those are teenagers. It's a tradition unique to the fall season. No one would ever equate such innocent family fun with tragedy. But that's what happened. An amazing girl lost her life, when the Jeep hauling the trailer for the haunted hayride lost control and crashed. Her boyfriend was severely injured also, and many others suffered injuries as well.

Cassidy (in colorful headband) with
her CMU (Central Maine United)
premier soccer team.

Cassidy is a teammate on my daughter's premier soccer team. (I simply can't write was, because she's still here through words like this and the hearts of so many.) Along with other girls from surrounding towns, they've played soccer together for years, sharing victories and defeats and the all-important sleepovers. We consider her family our friends, spending weekend tournaments with the team or gatherings at their home. Her smile and soft wit will be missed beyond the words I could ever write here. A bright soul taken before her time. At the top of her high school class, she had more potential than most. Her community and neighboring communities are devastated. 
Her life touched many, from her high school soccer team, the premier soccer team, elementary school classmates at a Catholic school, older classmates, friends, and her beloved family. For the most part, when someone passes people share positives from their life. Sometimes you wonder if the person was really that good. In Cassidy's case, it is all true. Her infectious smile and laugh lit up a room and made you feel better. The gentleness in her face welcomed you. She possessed a humbleness that only comes from Grace beyond any of us, and she shared it willingly. Knowing her affirms there is goodness in this world.  
She gained that goodness from an incredible mother, father, and younger brother. They are some of the most genuine people I have ever known. Her mother has taken my family photos for years, always taking such care over my four children. As I write this all I can think is This can't be happening. 
It was early Sunday morning when I received the text of the accident. Initially, shock was felt - a dull, numb sensation of disbelief. But as that wears off and reality sets in, the gravity of loss plummets to a full arsenal of emotions. Making sense of this is the first reaction. It's what we do in our human skin. But pursuing that is a losing battle. As a close friend shared with my daughter, "This will never get better. It will only get different." 
People are coming together through candlelight vigils and posting the above imagine in support and honor of Cass. Some are organizing fundraisers to aid her family with expenses, but also for the family of her boyfriend, who is in a Boston hospital with sever injuries. Cassidy's teammates from all her teams are honoring her from wearing blue ribbons and their jerseys to painting blue hearts with her number on their faces. Our boy's soccer team wrapped a single stripe of blue tape on their arms to honor her during yesterday's game. This will be a long road of grief and questioning for many. I ask for your positive thoughts and prayers for the family. 
We attended a vigil for her last night outside her Catholic elementary school. As tough as it was it was as beautiful. The tears, the laughs, the memories, and the heartfelt longing for her needed to be shared. Former teachers, friends, teammates, and even people who didn't know her attended. A gentlemen approached my husband and asked if we knew her. He revealed that he did not know her or the family, but just had to attend in support. His heart was genuine and heavy. 
After, Cassidy's CMU soccer team gathered at a coach's house. They talked, tried to eat a little ice cream, and cried. Eventually, laughter sprung up as they embraced cherished memories they'd shared with Cass. They questioned why. Before they left, the coach had them sign a special table. The last signature was for Cassidy ~ a big heart with her CMU #4 filling it up.
The outpouring of compassion testifies of Cassidy's wholesome influence in this world, and that we have the same responsibility to affect others in affirming ways. The manner in which she lived each day has made a difference. Her inspiration will inspire positive effects in many. Her life threaded numerous lives, and last night she brought us together. Though she is not physically here any longer to spread her light, others have vowed to do that for her. You and I need to do the same.
There's nothing I can do for her parents but offer a shoulder to help shelf their grief. It's not enough, but it's all I have. It's all any of us has at a time like this. But we can also take a moment to respect life in its frailness, cherish what we still have, and never lose sight of a beautiful life that added such hope to the world ~ Cassidy's legacy.   

My Take on Back-2-School Writing

Where I live, newly-incoming high school freshman and junior high sixth graders, along with the elementary kids officially begin their school year one day before the rest of the students. So that put my family in a funky position--child #2 (an incoming freshman) and my 2nd grader attended school yesterday, leaving my senior and 7th grader starting today. Topping it all off, Hurricane Irene pushed them back an extra day.


Regardless...
...can you hear the quiet at my house? Ahh...

In honor of all this quiet, I put together a silly writers' list of "ables" and "not-so-ables"--how I'll utilize my time.

On the first Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: turn my computer on without hearing "Mom, he hit me! Mom, she ate all the cereal. Mom, Mom, Mom..."

On the second Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: drink my coffee warm without microwaving it 8 million times.

On the third Back To School day, I'll come back to reality: turn the computer off and fill out all the ($%^&@#$%) paper work the school insists on sending home, despite living in the digital age. (Save a tree, already.)

On the fourth Back To School day, I'll have no choice but to: rest my aching hands from filling out those forms on day three.

On the fifth Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: peek at my outline for my YA story, then rush to the athletic meetings for Fall sports--the ones, because I have four kids, I've already attended in the past 10x!

On the sixth Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: W--R--I--I--I--T--E. *pom-pom cheers 4 me*

On the seventh Back To School day, I'll be forced to: trudge through the elementary, junior high, and high school, attending yet my umpteenth OPEN HOUSE!


On the eighth Back To School day, I'll be forced to: pick up kids at three different schools, attend a X-country meet and girls' soccer practice, and explain (again) to my 2nd grader why he can't play Xbox in school.

On the ninth Back To School day, I'll finally break: and decide to write a letter to the editor of our local newspaper stating:  ***There should be a reprieve from paper work and lame meeting attendance for parents with multiple children.***


On the tenth Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: see hope and gain my bearings.

On the eleventh Back To School day, I'll finally be able to: begin to adjust, seeing my writing time renewed. Characters will inspire me, new scenes will flood my brain. I'll crack my knuckles and exhale.

And on the twentieth Back To School day, I'll be able to say: "A new school year for them and a new writing season for me. And this is my year!"


What about you? Can you see the light through all the fallen trees that block your writing road?

PROMing IT 2!!

Before I get to my post, I must announce the winner of Kari Lee Townsend's SIGNED copy of her MG hit, The Samantha Granger Experiment: FUSED. Sorry I'm late, but being sick for three weeks has thrown me for a loop.

The WINNER is: TRACY!! chosen by random.org.

!!CONGRATS!!

Being a children's writer in all three realms of young adult, middle grade, and picture books affords me the right to be silly. Serious and sincere. Then there's wacky and gullible, snarky and frank. And of course a wee little bit ornery. Teeny years through those awkward tween years and into teen years are a rollercoaster ride. Remember??

Do you?? Because it's okay to remember, to reminisce, even when all those memories aren't the brightest. They make you who you are and ultimately are part of what makes you the writer you are. Don't shy from it.

Today, I'm highlighting writing for a Young Adult audience focusing on high school traditions, specifically the PROM. Coincidently, I wrote a bit about this subject over on Oasis for YA on Wednesday, namely PROMing IT!! 1. I briefly explored the importance of embracing your personal experiences and using them. Whether you went to your prom or multiple proms, or didn't attend, whether you thought the prom was the most fantastic night of your life or the most idiotic way to spend a perfectly good Saturday, you DID have an experience. A YA experience.

Josh & Erica

Utilize those emotions, those scenes and smells, tastes and sounds. Remember your annoyance with the chick who wouldn't stop crying because it was senior year or the stupid jocks who came to the dance drunk. In one shape or form you can incorporate these, mix and match, tweak and shake-up some fantastic YA scenes for your young adult stories.

This past weekend, my husband and I hosted a prom dinner for our oldest son, his date, and their friends. Talk about your young adult material. Awesome stuff. They laughed and joked and did completely normal stuff. After dinner the six girls slipped into their dresses in our bedroom and the guys got all handsome in Josh's room.

They headed off to the PROM, making memories and growing with each moment...just as the scenes in our YA stories need to built. After the PROM, Josh and Erica came back to the house, snacked on some leftover dinner and dessert, and headed off to a party. Each scene was as natural as our YA stories must read.

We (or most of us) are adults, but we were teens at one point. Don't abandon that past. Use it. Now go write an explosive YA scene.


Any PROM memories you've tweaked or utilized while writing YA?