Notes on Opening Chapters with Agent Natalie Fischer ~ Segment II

In SEGMENT I of my webinar with super literary agent, Natalie Fischer, we discussed The Query Letter. Today, I'm going to delve into her critique and advice on first chapters. By using myself as a guinea pig, I'm hoping to give you some insight into your personal troubled areas in opening up a story.

My opening chapter began with subtle action, encapsulated by a car accident. Although opening with an accident can sometimes be cliché, as she read she saw that I'd used it in a different way.

The scene was character driven with little focus on the accident itself and more about the innards of my lead female with a hint of what might be in store for her. I knew using an accident would trigger the fear and pain buried inside this girl--which remains hidden throughout most of the story--and would also afford me the opportunity to give the reader a glimpse into a special talent this girl possess but ignores. AND yes, a little of her past, but just enough to make the reader go Hmmm?

However, there was one point in the chapter where she went Whoa and question my reasons for not starting the chapter there.

I found it so interesting when she asked me that. Let me set it up for you: girl wakes up in backseat with unconscious friend + sees strangers just outside vehicle. At the end of the scene, the lead female (who's vision is blurred) senses someone near...too near. She hears his voice and exhales what she believes to be her last. Her world then fades to black. But the reader is privy to the fact that something is being done to her and it's not death taking her.

Originally, I hadn't included her waking, seeing someone outside the van, etc... It was simply her feeling someone near, not knowing who or what it was. This was the place Natalie felt the chapter reeled her in. I told her that I'd lengthened it because I was afraid someone would interpret the shortness of the chapter (which was only two pages double-spaced) for a prologue, which I didn't want. She assured me that it didn't read like a prologue as long as the story moved forward in chapter 2, which it does.

So here, I needed to either cut the beginning out entirely or take out some extraneous phrases and descriptions of the scene to speed up the intensity, tighten my prose, and completely hook the reader. Note: my Oasis Ladies had read the chapter prior and each of them had the same assessment as Natalie. Smart chickies. 

Natalie's advice was universal to all five of us writers who met with her.

The Breakdown

~Opening Chapter~

1. A chapter is a chapter despite the length. YOU may chose to keep it short - as I had originally - for impact. That doesn't necessarily make it a prologue. 
2. If you're going to start with a bang - start with a bang and keep it rolling.
3. Use shorter sentences to create tension and suspense.
4. Step inside the scene. Tell what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. Use it all.
5. The reader only knows what the writer tells them. Think carefully about what you want to reveal or keep hidden. That, right there, could be the hook which makes your story irresistible. 
6. Use adjectives and adverbs sparingly, especially in the opening scene. 
7. In any story, but especially young adult or middle grade literature, speed is a necessity. Keep your scenes and chapters moving quickly. In today's world, most readers between the ages of 11 and 19 could find an abundance of other activities to do other than finishing your book.
8. Shorter chapters work well for keeping suspense and attention spans. 
9. While editing after your first draft, be sensitive to tightening your prose by discarding extra details or repetitive details. (Yeah, we hate to chuck a beautiful sentence. But if it's not moving the character, scene, or story forward ditch it. But do create a folder for unused material. You never know when it could come in handy.)
10. This is my personal deduction: trust your instincts. I knew where I wanted to start the chapter and what I truly wanted to communicate, but was afraid to push the envelope, step out of the normal box, or take a risk. Ultimately, Be True To Yourself and someone will believe in you and your work. 

Overall and much to my delight, she was intrigued and wanted to read more. Yeah, that was way cool to hear. In the near future, I will share with you how I applied her advice and rewrote my opener. That will have to come after I submit it to our way-so-cool Query Kick-Around on YAlitchat. If you haven't checked out this amazing writing community, please do. You won't be sorry. *grins and bats lashes then chokes on her coffee*  Grace...yup, that would be me.

Please feel free to add to my list. I'd love to hear some of your experiences with first chapters.

Notes From an Agent ~ Natalie Fischer

A while back, I had the immense pleasure along with four other writers to attend a private webinar with super literary agent, Natalie Fischer. She's with the Sandra Dijkatra Literary Agency. Bright and energetic, she definitely knows her way around the literary world. Through her unspoken words--yup, we had to type the entire conversation because our video blitzed out--her heart and passion for stories and storytelling beamed.

Prior to our meeting, each of us sent her a query letter and first chapter. I'll be honest. Before we began, I was a nervous wreck. I had never had a one on one with an agent, before. She delved into our work, individually highlighting good points and offering suggestions where she thought an idea or structure could be improved upon.

I want to make a note here. As writers we talk a lot about voice. How often do we explore voice when simply chatting with someone? Natalie's kind and genuine voice came through all her critiques. And seeing how she was writing her responses, that's saying something. She was quite interested in helping us all. It was refreshing and gave me a different view of what I thought an agent was.

What I'm about to share with you is what I observed and learned from Natalie's outward critiques and advice, plus her answers to some of our questions. For this post, I'll work with the Query.

For my query, I discovered that I had a strong hook. She thought the story was unique, and she liked the variety of immortal creatures I'd included in my world-building. I did learn, however, that I needed to strengthen my last few sentences. She felt I tried to cram in too much info, and in doing that, I kind of lost her. Lastly, she loved that I'd done research and included what books I felt my manuscript would fit nicely beside. NOTE: I did NOT compare my work, but highlighted that readers who enjoy stories such as these would most probably enjoy my story.

Publishing credits can be added, but kept to a minimum. The most they get from her is a glance. Devote more time to your pitch than to your credentials. What's most important is the story. The pitch is what sells the agent. The story is what sells in the marketplace. Remember that you (we) are not there to explain to the agent what the character is feeling, what they've already been through, etc... Leave it to the plot (which you pitch) to reveal that in your query.

The Breakdown  

~The Query~ 

1. Need a strong one-sentence opening that hooks. Create a question and drum-up curiosity.
2. Use concise sentence structure but also concise ideas. Use relevant information to convey important plot points.
3. Find where your work would fit into the market, but be cautious in comparing. 
4. Keep publishing credits to a minimum. Devote more time to your pitch.
5. The pitch is what sells.
6. Although this doesn't apply to queries, I feel it's important. Don't make assumptions about agents. Ingest what you read and hear about them, but don't pigeon-hole them into one description. 

  In segment II & III, I'll discuss Natalie's critiques of our first pages, her suggestions for hooking the agent to ask for more, and her overall advice about being a writer in today's market.

AND, there's still time to ENTER my writing contest to win awesome critiques, books, or sway!! I don't have as many entries as I'd like, so HELP!! Pass the word, pwwease....Check out another great book giveaway on BETH'S blog  and awesome Shannon's 500+ Followers Giveaway on Book Dreaming which closes today!