Granted, I got ousted for the final round, but that's okay. Really. However....It got me thinking.
Other than the one short story I received Honorable Mention for and the short story about being a hockey mom which was read on a radio station throughout this past winter season, I haven't submitted anything--not even a shortie. I suddenly started feeling like I've been backpedaling.
But is it really backpedaling or is it growth? Ever heard the saying 'When nothing's happening, everything is happening?'
Fully aware my current manuscript needs editing, I've spent the last four or five months messing with it. I've gone from rearranging scenes to writing three totally new beginnings. I've been told and do feel that no writing is wasted. It's all par for the course. But at some point, all this slicing and dicing began shaving layers off my confidence.
What to do? What to do? Sit and mope, whine and fuss. Nope.
Despite the above and that I haven't been in this industry long, I am now able to recognize that hoary voice--bumbling little munchkin--bobbing between my ears telling me I'm crap.
You can't do this.
Who do you REALLY think you are?
Have you checked out some of the writers out there--the published ones?? You are out of your league chicky.
When I received the H.M., I had just put my first YA novel-attempt--TYMELESS--aside and started writing my second, MARKED BEAUTY. It took me 3 1/2 months to write the first measly draft. I then mapped out a middle grade series and wrote half of the first book, REMEY ZORRO AND THE FANTASTICAL TRINKET BOX. (Title still up for discussion.) I also wrote a first chapter of another YA novel, a few other short stories, and even three children's stories with my daughter none of which I've done anything with...yet.
I am where I'm supposed to be right here, right now.
Where are you on your Yellow Brick Road? Or is your road a different color, texture, or located in some distant galaxy just waiting to find you?
(Taken the tribe to the beach today, so if I miss you blogging I'll catch'ya later. Enjoy your day Alleywalkers!!)
Splatter Alert: Corrine Jackson is having an awesome contest over on her blog to celebrate her year anniversary. Check it out!!
I'm so impressed you've written so much in such a short time. I've been working on one manuscript for about 7 years. Almost done, thank god. I try not to compare my progress to published authors or even others or I get discouraged. I think we all have to go at our own pace, which depends a lot on what other family and work responsibilities we face.
ReplyDeleteGood Lord, I have no idea where I am on the road...you've done soooo much more than you think.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea. You sound like you have your head screwed on straight though. We all go through that doubt. Each and every one of us. I think I'm not good enough at least once a day, but then I prick my head back up again when I realise I can't live any other way. All part and parcel, I say. But I definitely couldn't locate my place on the road - so at least you're one step ahead of me!
ReplyDeleteI think it's fantastic that you have so many projects in the work. I'm not sure that you are on the Yellow Brick Road. It sounds as if you have multiple roads unfolding before you, and what's cool about the writing universe is that you can follow them all!
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I feel like I fell in a pothole this week. Hoping to climb out soon.
Yep, it's been almost a year since I've submitted anything. But I've been writing a ton! And it sounds like you've made so much progress, too! Every bit counts. I love the title of your MG book!
ReplyDeleteI must be on the same yellow brick road! Current ms on hold, sequel 1/2 done, children's story and short story written but no plans to work on them. Hmm. Now what?
ReplyDeletewhat you wrote is true, sheri, all that writing you've done, all the cutting, all the revisions and additions and changes, it's all making you a better writer. It's practice. And whenever you start doubting yourself remember when the red sox won the series and that banner some fan had that said, 'you have to believe it to see it.'
ReplyDeleteHow awesome that you got so far!!! I'm so excited for you.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am on that road, I just hope I don't get snatched up by those flying monkeys and loose my way. =)
I am right there with ya sister, even down to being a round four-er in the Adventures contest. Sometimes it is frustrating and I wonder, why I do this. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are passionate about what you are doing. You love what you are doing. So keep doing it and don't give up.
ReplyDeleteBuffy's said it. Never give up, but I don't think that's in your vocabulary and I expect to find one of your books on a bookstore shelf in the future.
ReplyDeleteYour attitude about all of this is great. I know that I get caught up in comparing myself to others, realizing I don't measure up. But we are each different, with different personalities, life experiences, writing experiences, etc. We can only do our best and KEEP TRYING!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post
I think with this post of yours that you've proved the adage that writers always worry that they're not good enough; that they're not doing enough.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I'd be dancing a jig if I could point to 1/4 of what you covered!
Kudos to you!