Wednesday, May 19, 2010

THERE ARE NO WORDS

Have you ever been writing and discovered there wasn't a word in existence able to describe how your character feels? Reacts? Thinks?




That's just how I feel today. LOST in a sea of emotions and my coveted Oxford Dictionary/Thesaurus has no answers for me.




20-something years ago I met a person who would change my life. I know the word 'met' gives the impression that I'd never seen him before or that I ran into him in some freakishly fateful way. Maybe the latter, but technically I knew him. Went to high school with him and....wasn't all that fond of him.


He was the rebel-like, don't-give-a-crap upperclassman who supposedly had a crush on me. That in itself annoyed the @#$% out of me. But worse, he never spoke. I swear I thought he was deaf, dumb, and mute. I just didn't get it. His band of brothers pestered me constantly to go out with him. DUMB. He wouldn't talk to me. Each time I'd walk up to their group, he'd either clam up completely or withdraw from the circle. 


But what I hadn't known was that our roads were already intimately twined. A fact I'd learn shortly after I made that depressing decision to stay home and care for my mom instead of pursuing my dancing career. 


Gloomy, dreary, and down-right ugly (don't think I'd showered for a month), my best friend got sick of my mourning and dragged me to a party. I did not want to go. AT ALL. So when we got there, I hankered down in a teeny corner, hoping the night would pass quickly. Didn't want to talk to a soul. All these friends were home from college break and I hadn't gone to New York like I had said. I was a failure.


Suddenly, this rebel dude I remembered noticed me from across the room. He got up from his poker game--which I discovered later was coveted, and NO ONE disturbed the boys' poker game--and sat beside me. AND SPOKE. I remember thinking 'Have I had anything to drink?' He slowly coerced me out of my corner, and we chatted all night. 


I could keep going with the story (trust me, there's a ton more to tell), but I won't.


When I committed myself two years ago to this career--because each of us pursuing publication is on the cusp of it, you know--I knew my other duties would suffer. The first year was rough. I was taking two writing classes, writing myself, studying constantly all while doing my normal functions as stay-at-home-mom for four children and caring for ailing parents. 


But year #2 has been different. My incredibly terrific husband has picked up much of the slack for me. He's even developed his OWN way. (Wives and mommies out there know what I mean. Our way isn't necessarily the correct way, but it's how each of us do it.) 


He gets up in the morning and makes me coffee, so I can take an hour to write, blog, and check my email. Then he gets the kids up. I eventually stop working, and creep out of my office to help a bit and get myself ready--to whatever extent that is. He's made lunches, packed bags, loaded or emptied the dishwasher, thrown in a load of wash, dickered with the sophomore about after school stuff, and gotten ready himself. Some mornings he's had to run to the grocery store because I was so busy in the office the day before I'd forgotten to get school snacks and drinks...or even bread.


He never complains. 


I stand in AWE. I could not be writing without him. I am so grateful. And when my debut novel is out in print, you'll read my dedication. It will be to him.


And yes, I married the rebel-like dude.


So today I want to wish him a Happy 40th Birthday. Can't believe so many years have gone by. I guess the school rebel and the prom queen are really growing up, huh babe?......Nah. Never.


Who in your life has made your writing possible? Who are your greatest helpers and inspirations?

20 comments:

  1. Like you, I give full credit to my husband.
    If it wasn't for him, I probably would never have finished We Hear the Dead, let alone published it. He supports and encourages my writing; he's my cheerleader and toughest critic. He put up with my crush on dead Arctic explorer Elisha Kane (although he freely admits that he hates the guy) and tolerates my crush on my WIP hero because the character is fictional and shares a lot of my husband's qualities.

    We've recently had a big upheaval in our lives. Circumstances have led us to do what we said we'd never do -- my husband has taken a job that has him away from home Mon thru Fri on most weeks. I'm a single mom except on weekends. Still, my husband takes care of me: does all the shopping and most of the cooking on weekends so I can have a break (and writing time), trolls the internet for mentions of WHTD, tracks my sales rank, traces traffic to my blog and website -- and is pushing me to investigate a sabbatical so I can have more time to write.

    You're right, Sheri. There are no words to describe him.

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  2. on more than one level i understand the feeling of 'a loss for words'. one such moment is right now- beautiful blog, loved it :)
    what more is there to say?

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  3. What a great story of how you met. That's great how he supports your writing. My biggest supporter is my daughter. I started reading my book to her as I drafted it when she was six. She's read it several times, made suggestions, told her teachers about it & got me author visits, and encouraged me when I want to quit. My husband supports me too in giving me time to write.

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  4. What a great post. I hope your husband has a terrific birthday. I, too, have an incredibly supportive husband who is just amazing. Keep up all the great work you are doing, and I can't wait to see your book, dedicated to your husband, on the bookstore shelf one day.

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  5. That's awesome Sheri, I was hoping he would turn out to be the guy from the story.

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  6. Happy birthday to your husband! We have to take stock of how lucky we are with those supporting us in the writing endeavor.

    Most days, I think my husband believes in me pursuing writing more than I do, which inspires me to keep moving. He is genuinely excited that I am doing something for myself and is always interested in what Martina and I are up to on any given day.

    Martina, my blogging partner, writing goddess, and seriously, the best friend ever, is my rock these days. She is someone I want in my corner always- knowledgeable, ambitious, hilarious, and loving. Everyone needs a Martina!

    Marissa

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  7. Oh that so sweet!

    My husband's out of the house by 6 am. I'm the one who gets the kids ready in the morning. My husband wouldn't even know what to do. :)

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  8. Oh that is such an amazing story. I wish I had a husband like that! All mine does IS complain. I think he resents the fact that I gave up playing gigs. I've changed apparently. Well, what can I say? My passion is not in performing my music anymore. Sorry, mate!

    But lately I've been seeing improvement after I explained how much I want to write. How writing is the first thing ever that I feel the need to push myself to the limits for. I hope one day I'll be able to dedicate my work to him whole-heartedly. *sigh*

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  9. Wow,Sweetie thank you!!!I like the rebel thing and remember I'm 29 not 40(i refuse to grow up). I hope your day is going well,remember stay positive on the inside and you will attract what you want on the outside. luv W

    ps. my grammer needs work!!!!!

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  10. So so so so sweet. Happy bday to your dude. I couldn't write as much as I do without my hubs. Sure he does things...differently than I do, but he tries. And it helps me out a ton.

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  11. wow. this is a lovely, sweet story, Sheri, even better because it's true. You are very fortunate to have such a supportive spouse. There is nothing like having someone close to you in your corner 24/7.

    and yes, sometimes it is hard to find the right word, thesaurus or no.

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  12. Oh, I just love this story! So totally romantic! I think you should use it in one of your novels!

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  13. Wow, what a great story! Happy Birthday Sheri's rebel-dude husband!:)

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  14. Yay!!! You married the rebel guy! That just makes me so happy. =) Great story, thanks for sharing. =)

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  15. Awww, this is such a great tribute to your wonderful hubby. He sounds like a keeper! My husband tries. He really does, and I'd be lost without him. My greatest helpers and inspirations are a fellow teacher I call my "cheer princess" and my blogging buddies - especially Angela and Bethany, my CP's. :-)

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  16. awww. so sweet. Yes, I wouldn't be writing at all if it wasn't for the encouragement of my kissy-face.

    And yes, I have those days where I know there's a word but I can't think of it/find it. They happen all the time.

    Happy Birthday Mr. Larsen!

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  17. You were SO lucky to meet your SOUL MATE early on Sheri! HAPPY BIRTHDAY - YOU look incredibly cute together!

    My hubby is very similar to yours - he supports - even pushes me to write. He can't believe that I've kept it under wraps for so long. He's my greatest critic, too - even though at times he can be pretty harsh.

    You have a SOUL MATE, a great bunch of kids and we are ALL certain that you will make it BIG Sheri. The sacrifices you made when you were younger will/have already started coming back.

    THANK you for sharing that with us my friend!

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  18. Great post, and happy birthday to your hubbie!
    My hubs definitely understands what I'm trying to do, and so far he's been really encouraging, so I'm thankful for him!

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  19. Oh, I was hoping you married the rebel! What a great story. My writing would not be possible without Lisa (obviously). She encourages, edits, inspires, promotes, teaches, supports and more. She is seriously a rock star and I am so, so lucky to be writing with her. My husband is great too (ha), but I'm not sure he quite understands the way she does.

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  20. How sweet!!! Happy Birthday to the man you adore!

    I must say the I'm with you in the fact that my husband is the one who supports me fully in this dream. Now I don't get to spend all day in my office writing away, I don't have children that he has to grab lunches for and make quick trips to the grocery store, but my man is wonderful with reading every piece I throw in front of him and devouring it as I wait in a corner pacing to hear what he says about it.

    He loves me unconditionally even in my craziness. I couldn't have asked for a better husband I know when it's time for the kids and the publishing process he'll be by my side through it all!

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