Friday, September 30, 2011

Featherbrained Friday: Toilet Paper

Ready for another edition of Featherbrained Friday? Well, I have a humorous story for you, one that is very close to my home.

Jake twirls the football in the air over his head and catches it in his fourteen-year-old hands.

"Pass it here. Pass it here," cries CJ, Jake's little brother.

Jake hauls his arm backward, the ball in his grip, his shoulder tensing. CJ's eyes widen and he crouches. A smile lifts his tiny cheeks.

Thrusting his arm forward, Jake throws the football. CJ raises his lanky arms, fingers long and stretching towards the ceiling. Big sister Kate cups her hands around her mouth, giving the whoosh of their make believe crowd life.

The ball spirals and flies over the coffee table. CJ reaches a bit more. A small moan vibrates up his throat. Tiny lines crease his forehead. Then the ball thuds him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"Nice one, moron," Kate says to Jake as she ambles over to CJ to give him a comforting hug.

Jake chuckles. "It's not my fault he missed."

"He's seven." Kate beams the ball at Jake's face. He dodges its path and sticks out his tongue.

"Real mature."

CJ pinches his nose between his fingers, as Kate walks out of the living room. "Hey, who cut one?"

"If you smelt it then you dealt it." Jake bends over to pick up the ball.

"I did not," CJ screams. "You're always blaming me for stuff!"

"Augh,"--Jake points at the ball on the carpet--"maybe you didn't do it, little bro."

CJ leans forward. "Ooh, the dog pooped in the house. Mom's goin'a be mad."

"Yeah," Jake answers. "So why don't you make like a good little brother. Get some toilet paper and get rid of it. We can finish playing pass outside." Jake jogs toward the mudroom.

"'K," little CJ says, really excited to play football with his big brother outside.

An hour later, Mom and Dad arrive home from an open house at the local high school. Dad shuts the driver's side door to his car, as Mom leans by his side.

"You want to guess who did that?" Mom asks. They both laugh.

"Hey, since when do the trees need toilet paper?" Dad nonchalantly asks.

...toilet paper & doggy @#$% dangling from the hedges in the yard...
NICE. The neighbors just love us. Got to love the care of an older sibling.

Have a fabulous weekend, Alleywalkers!!


  1. That is both hilarious and gross (mostly hilarious), and also makes me fear the time when my children will be the age to get into such unattended mischief. Currently they just get into mischief while I watch. Have a great weekend!

  2. Pick up the dog doo with toilet paper and throw it in a tree?

    Only boys would do that.

    (Girls would flee to another room and leave it for mom and dad to take care of.)

  3. We've used the TP solution for dog/cat mess, but we figured that the most obvious place for it was the toilet.
    "Happy Halloween! Is that...omiGAWD, it's REAL TURDS!"

  4. I agree with Dianne. That's a total boy think. Have a great weekend.

  5. What a funny story. And you have a picture to go with it. How cool.

  6. I'm guessing this is slightly related to some real kids you know? Great story, Sheri!

  7. Great story. Definitely all boy. Too funny.
    Have a great weekend!

  8. I'm just surprised nothing was broken. That would be the reality in my house. And there's no dog to blame it on. Of course, that also means there's no dog to poop in the house, either. :D

  9. That's so funny! I have three boys myself so yeah... know how that goes

  10. Agree, Sara.

    Will - Hahaha....that's great!

  11. I "found" you this morning through Bloffee. Loved the story--I have four kids (3 boys, 1 daughter). I know how easily doggy *** and toilet paper could end up in a tree.

  12. LOL! That's funny. I have three boys and have to deal with stuff too. It makes for great stories. Have a great weekend Sheri!

  13. LOL! Too funny, and cringe-worthy cause ick! Thanks, I needed to start my day with a laugh!

  14. Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, those boys!

  15. True story?

    I don't know. I had two older brothers, and we never throw the tp with dog crap in a tree.

    Definitely a funny story. Have a terrific weekend.

  16. LOL! This is bringing back memories... that I shall keep to myself! :)


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